Moving On in Reverse
by Chaynne212
Summary: Everytime Bella struggles to her feet the rug is set on fire. Can she find a way out of the flames or will she burn for eternity? AU, OOC... Non - Canon
1. Chapter 1 Prologue

_**Moving On in Reverse**_

_**Bella **_

_**( Pairings are exceptionally complicated in this story... You'll understand why as you read...)**_

_**Bella/Carlisle? Bella/Human OC Whitlock? Bella/Marcus?**_

_**Rated: M (Mature) **you have been warned... _

_Language, Violence, Lemony Situations, etc._

_Also, while this is not a tragedy, some character will meet tragic ends..._

_If you're not 18 years of age please hit the X at the top of the screen._

_**A/N Also, everyone should be glad to note that I am working on Reclamation, and also the other stories listed on my profile that were lost on a broken computer, I had my data retrieved finally and am getting back to writing all my stories.**_

_**This all belongs to the amazing Stephenie Meyer, this is for entertainment only, not intended for financial gain. I will not be getting paid for this …. ahhh... that's ok.**_

_**Summary:**_

_After losing everything that ever meant anything to her, and dealing with more pain than she thought possible, Bella decides it's time to get out of Forks, and move on with her life. However, when Bella believes she has finally accomplished that goal, what will she do when her past comes back with a vengeance and threatens to destroy everything she has... again?! AU & OOC_

_**A/N** **Song for the chapter"**_

_**Angels by Within Temptation **_

_**Prologue**_

_**Bella POV**_

_**September 17th, 2003**_

He's gone, he left me last night. He didn't want me, didn't love me. I just wasn't good enough. He took every memory I had of him with him. I tried to be exactly what he wanted, but maybe that was the problem.

I spent so much time shaping myself around him that I wasn't me anymore. It's my own fault, but now how do I find myself again through all this pain, through the gaping hole in my chest that sucks away even my ability to breathe?

_**January 2004**_

I visited Jacob Black today. I had forgotten how it felt to smile, to laugh, to have a normal feeling that was neither heart wrenching pain nor terror.

_**February 2004 **_

Laurent tried to kill me, Jacob's a werewolf and Victoria is hunting me.

_**March 2004**_

Mom and Phil are dead, a camping accident is what the reports said, animal mauling.

My mother doesn't camp.

Sam and Paul are flying down with me to check it out, they agree it seems suspicious. I need to be strong and give my Mom and Phil a proper burial and deal with the estate.

There was proof of their disappearance being perpetrated by an unknown vampire. The stench in the house had burned the wolves sensitive noses.

It's decided that they were kidnapped then killed in the woods to keep it low profile for the police. I grieve alone in silence as I am the only one that really knew them. Charlie looks grim on occasion and I know that I am not completely alone in this pain at the loss of my mother.

_**June 2004**_

People in Seattle are dying, one after another. My gut tells me Victoria is behind this, though I don't understand how she can destroy so many alone or even why.

Although the pack is willing to listen to my theories they do have logic on their side, the consensus is that no lone vampire could do such damage, so the events must be unrelated.

_**August 2004**_

Victoria seems to have backed off for now at least.

I am falling in love with Jake, he fixed my soul and returned it to me. We have been together a little over month now and we are happy. I've decided to put off college until Jacob graduates. I will take my sun with me.

_**December 2004**_

The snow is bright crimson as my father's blood flows onto it, seeping closer and closer to me.

I am frozen in place.

The figure before me seems to almost shimmer as she moves in constant graceful movements . Her hair like flames whipping violently with the wind as if it could set ablaze the world at any moment.

She tells me she has built an army... an army of newborn, volatile vampires... just for the sole purpose of destroying me.

All those people that died in Seattle, over 200 now, they have all died because of me.

I drop to my knees and beg her to end me now, my father is dead on the ground before me, she killed him for the joy of seeing me suffer. She drank not a single drop of his blood, his life wasted for my torture.

The Flame haired demon only laughs and tells me that they will come for me soon. She will not rest until I and all of my guard dogs are dead.

_**March 2005**_

The wolves have endlessly prepared for battle but I can tell that they are beginning to believe that Victoria was only telling me those things to scare me, well it worked and I was scared of her before that day.

I live for Jake now he is all I have left in this world. We made love a week ago, it was the first time I have felt whole in a very long time.

_**April 2005 **_

I guess we weren't very careful, caught up in our passion for each other, we forgot about planning for the future. I'm happy though and so is Jake, Billy and the pack, even Leah.

I finally have another reason to live, something else Jacob has given me.

We are getting married after his graduation. I even bought us a house on the reservation. I am thankful for what I have, I never thought I could be happy again in any form.

Despite the aching sadness that still lurks in the shadows around me, I am working though the grief and fear, each day, I move a little further forward.

I have a future, a life, hopes and dreams.

Only one thing still truly plagues me. Victoria, she still hasn't showed herself since that day in December when she took my father from me. Still, the death toll continues to rise.

_**2nd Week of April 2005**_

They wouldn't let me come. It was a war for my life, yet they refused my help and left behind a much needed spirit warrior to guard me in La Push. Concerned, of course, for my sake as well as Jake's unborn child.

I could not stop myself as my tears flowed relentlessly. I didn't know what would come of today. I prayed and cried and prayed some more.

In the end it did not matter...

They still won't tell me what happened on that hill, only that the pack lost three and the humans lost sixteen.

Billy Black suffered a stroke during the funeral for the three fallen wolves and left us too.

Leah, Embry, and Collin died for me.

I wasn't worth all of this death. The pack swore to me Victoria had been burnt to ash, that they had won. They brought me a piece of the demons hair and let me burn it myself, but I felt no victory.

There was only the pain we felt as we once again mourned our lost loved ones.

_**May 2005**_

Collin's older sister Kayla came home from College to comfort her mom.

I thought Jake, if no one or nothing else would always be my happiness, my comfort, my life, but then he told me he saw her at the funeral.

We had all been in so much pain from all the death, I couldn't tell he was quickly withdrawing from me, he said he tried to fight it, though with all the pain I've caused I wouldn't have blamed him if he hadn't.

Imprinting, has caused another death, this time it was his love for me.

I still had our child, though. I sold our new home and moved into a hotel until I knew what was going to happen, as Dad's house had already sold.

I didn't know how any of this would work out. Kayla had made it clear that she hated me for carrying this baby, for loving what belonged to her.

She quickly replaced me in the pack, it seemed I was losing everything, but I tried to carry on. I still had a something to give me purpose, a person I could live my life for.

The council finally came to a decision and insisted I stay in La Push or at least Forks so I set out to tentatively search for an apartment to rent despite my growing anger at their audacity. They were "concerned" about the choices I would make for myself, without Jake by my side. That's the line I was given anyway.

Really, I knew they just wanted to keep me close until the baby was born, after that I knew the council would be a problem.

I was going to be a mother soon. I would deal with whatever came my way.

I was on the beach when a golden eyed vampire stepped from the trees at the edge of the part of First Beach where I was currently ignoring the childish girl n front of me.

Kayla stood only a few feet from me, screaming at me to leave La Push, even though I spent most of my time at my hotel in Forks. I was only here today because the weather was fairly warm and I had needed to get outside.

Hell she wanted me to leave Washington for that matter, as if she had the right to order me from the State I was born in. Not to mention the advisement of the council. She kept yelling at me to stop trying to take Jacob from her. Didn't she know that I hadn't even spoken to him since the day he told me of his imprint. I was just trying to ignore her, this girl was awful.

I thought the vampire was safe enough to ask what she was doing here with her golden eyes shining brightly. She said her name was Irina Denali, it wrung a bell though I wasn't sure why and I really didn't understand what she was going on about until she said the name, Laurent, and the word mate.

Then it clicked and my first thought was really, again. I had another vengeful vampire on my hands and I didn't even have a vampire mate.

It was ironic really, not that it mattered this time as her vendetta was personal and not that mate for a mate crap that Victoria had used as a fucking tagline.

Irina wanted my death and the wolves death for killing her "mate". Laurent hadn't seemed to care. I was starting to think this mate shit was just that, bullshit...

Semantics really.

I screamed as she went for Kayla first snapping her neck, she was dead instantly, in a way I was I was grateful that she went quickly. If her death was going to be my burden I hoped she hadn't really had time to feel pain, or even understand what was happening.

She came to me next and proceeded to beat the life out of me with every bit of fury she had to give. She wanted me to die slowly, she wanted me to suffer, to feel the pain she already had.

Guess she hadn't gotten the memo detailing ways that I was in a constant state of suffering. All I could do was pray help would arrive, that I would survive somehow to bring my baby into this world.

So I begged God to protect my child and tried to block out the pain.

I saw Jacob arrive, a short while later, frantic. I thought he would help me, but then he ran right past where Irina, the fucking vampire, was beating me to death.

I could see him as he slumped to the ground his head and hands falling onto Kayla's dead form. The position looked like prayer or worship maybe. Like he was bowing to his God.

It was like I didn't even exist...

Sam and the others arrived less than a minute later. I watched with blurry and shock ridden vision as Sam, Jared, and Paul destroyed Irina, while I bled out on the pebble and sand beach.

Jacob sat sobbing for his imprint some twenty feet away the entire time. I don't even know if he saw me as I lay there dying, slowly, painfully.

As Sam picked me up I saw Jacob phase and rush into the trees, he never once looked my way.

Sam and Jared took me to the hospital where Emily sat by my side for over a month as I healed, empty and alone. Far too broken to ever be healed.

Jacob never came back out of the forest, he never came to see me as I mourned the loss of my child. He did not come, not for me.

Not even to see what had happened to his own son...

_**July 2005**_

Finally I have healed completely, well physically at least. Mentally, well we all know that is another story. Regardless, I am out of the hospital and thinking and planning what to do next.

Next, well I am still working on that. Between tears and constantly trying to pretend my mind is healing as my body is, I'm exhausted. Mostly I just want to keep busy. What else can I do?

The pack can not hear Jacob anymore.

Sam said he used his Alpha blood to break away. He is not coming back according to what I've been told. I'm not sure I believe that but at this point I don't care so much.

I don't blame him for not wanting to be here really, all that exists in this place is pain. I blame him for a lot of things, but not for wanting to be somewhere other than here.

_**August 2005**_

There is nothing left for me here.

Emily has been very understanding of my need to go away. To try to start anew. If I am to have any hope of moving on I need to leave, they all understand in their own way I suppose, but the pack has had a hard time letting go.

Especially now that they consider me their only link to Jacob. That in itself is a problem, he clearly is not linked to me and I no longer want him to be. How can I move on and hope to have any semblance of a normal life if I stay.

I packed up my new 2006 Mercedes M-Class SUV, that is black with dark tinted windows, last night. I don't know why I had them tinted but for some reason I once again had the urge to stick to the dim and the dark.

Money was no issue, though it hadn't been for a long time.

I actually liked this car a lot, but I had bought it purely out of spite to prove to the world, mostly myself that I could move on, change, be a different Bella, one not constricted to the same mold that has only hurt me time after time.

I had everything that meant anything to me packed in the rig and I was leaving in just a few moments.

I hugged each of the person that swarmed around me goodbye, and wished them the best of luck with their lives.

I promised Emily we would stay in touch, though I didn't know if I would keep that promise. I knew she understood that this could be the very last time she ever saw or heard from me, and I know she understood why.

I couldn't help the choked sob that escaped me as I looked at each of their faces in turn before climbing into my car.

I waved once as I drove away from them, from La Push, from Forks, from my home, from everything I had ever loved and the epicenter of every bit of pain I had ever been dealt.

I didn't look back as the tears rolled silently down my cheeks, feeling the pain as if it was bleeding from me in a long trail with every mile I drove away from the place I had called home for the last several years.

I was off to start a new life, a new future, find my fate, and leave my painful past behind me. I would try to live in the light.

_Song for this chapter..._

**Angels by Within Temptation **

_A/N The prologue is a little tough, though I think it gets the point across, I didn't go over the months before Jacob because I look at this story as going AU around March in the time line. Please follow the books up to the point where Bella jumps off the cliff only this time Alice isn't there when she gets home, and she tells Jacob everything. Then I truly take the story from there._

_I have two more chapters nearly finished, they just need editing so I will be updating pretty soon._

_Til Next Time,_

_C ~_


	2. Chapter 2 Welcome to The Here and Now

_**Moving On in Reverse**_

_**Chapter 1**_

_**Welcome to The Here and Now**_

_A/N I own nothing_

_**Song for chapter: Michelle Branch Goodbye to You**_

**A thousand thanks to my beta 4MeJasper, without whom****, I would have probably never gotten through this chapter. She did all the hard work, ****and I am eternally grateful to her. If there are any mistakes they are mine.**

_**November 10**__**th**__** 2009**_

_Bella's POV_

Climbing out of the shower, I grabbed a towel and headed towards my bedroom to change into my pajamas, which were nothing extravagant. I was still the same Bella when it came to wanting to be comfortable and relaxed.

I dressed in a pair of flannel pants and a tank top, then carried my towel with me back to the bathroom. After I had dried and brushed my hair, I made my way into the kitchen of my so-called apartment.

To call this place an apartment was almost ridiculous. It had the square feet to be considered a large house, yet was more of a condo set up. I loved that it was a large three bedroom two bath with an office and library combo.

The kitchen was gourmet style; seriously, I could tape a cooking show in it. Plus both my bedroom and the breakfast nook area opened onto a balcony. The portion off the kitchen was set up for eating outside, enjoying the sun and night life of this amazing city.

It was perfect for me and had the added bonus of the condo lifestyle which included a pool, gym, and every amenity a girl like me could want. The place was also situated in one of the best neighborhoods of Houston, Texas. That's right, I said Texas. When I said I was going to live in the light, I meant it.

Either way, when I saw the place, I fell in love with it; it had a very warm, historic appeal, with aged brick and the most beautiful fireplace I had ever seen. It had a chef's kitchen.

When it came time to decorate it after signing my lease, I found that I couldn't wait to accomplish that task. It gave me a reason to keep going. Shallow though it was.

I had gone all out, decorating in earthy tones of browns, creams, reds, blues, and varying greens. I was trying to turn this apartment into my home. I worked at it until I felt completely comfortable here. I wanted to be at least moderately happy with the start of my new life.

That being said, I had spent far more money than I had ever thought I was capable of on a single purpose. I found that I actually felt good about that as well. This was a big change for me. That is what I needed, though, a big change...

This simple home improvement project made me feel like I had accomplished something, moved a step forward. Thus began my still moderate but definitely altered love of shopping. I may never bring a hundred bags home at once, but I wasn't afraid to go buy something more than the absolute essentials.

My most beloved area of the house was the kitchen. Considering that I was a human and staying that way, I returned with a vengeance to my love of cooking. I started making dishes that I had never heard of. I had decided that a TV with the Food Network on in my kitchen was a must-have item. It was a great way to pass the time while completing worthwhile tasks.

After about six months of this, I rarely used the TV for help anymore. I could cook most anything, though I still loved the Food Network and watched purely for inspiration or entertainment now.

Once I was in the kitchen, I poured myself a glass of wine and made my way to the living room turning on the gas fireplace and took a seat on the overstuffed, soft brown sofa and turned on Iron Chef America. This show truly never got old for me, as I was always interested in the latest challenge.

Tonight, though, it was having problems keeping my attention, as upcoming events were causing me to take a trip down memory lane. Not so far as to remember why I was here in Texas, I had not allowed myself to remember that far back in years.

I was remembering what my life had been like since I moved here. How I had gotten to where I was today. I was very proud of where I was in life and the last four plus years deserved reflection.

I had finished getting my home in order about three weeks after I had moved here. Once that was done, I quickly moved on to a new project, this one was a bit harder, as this was renovating myself. I wanted to give myself a new look, a new start, while still maintaining who I was.

It was hard for me to look myself in the mirror that first time, and tell myself that it was time to move forward. Part of moving forward was getting myself to feel good about who I was.

At this point, with the exception of the pride I now felt in my home, I had absolutely no self-esteem whatsoever. I was determined to change that, even if it killed me. Luckily it didn't, but the process was difficult.

I made an appointment at a salon and went in the next day to get started. I did everything; I had my hair shortened to about the middle of my back, as it had gotten rather long, and had the stylist bring out the natural red highlights in my hair, as well as add layers.

Even styled, it was something I could do myself with a round brush and a blow dryer. I didn't want fake I just wanted better, a better me. Someone I could be proud of. I had no idea if it would work but I was determined to try.

I had a makeup artist not only give me a new look, but taught me how to use the products. I ended up with makeup that was still natural, light, and fit my personality. It also gave me some added ummph that I needed desperately, when that was done,

I ended up with two different make up looks, one for every day and one for evening, on the off chance that I was going out. I knew how to do them both, as well as my hair, and I made myself a promise, at that moment, that I would stick to them. Surprisingly, I did. I liked how it looked and more surprisingly it did make me feel better about myself. I was happy with this small bit of progress.

Next I moved on to my manicure and pedicure which I felt was ridiculous at the time but greatly appreciate now, because stress doesn't cause me to attack my fingernails like a rabid dog. I kept that up as well, though after a few months, I learned to do them myself. I just didn't have time to keep nail appointments.

Besides, I did not want to be that high maintenance, though I kept my hair appointments every three months and still do.

I remember going home that day feeling ridiculous about my sudden need for a "salon me", I was feeling so conflicted about my choice to do it at all. Self doubt crept in around me like the plague.

I had walked into my bathroom with the idea that I could just undo most of the day's hard-work with a quick shower and had stopped to look in the mirror fighting tears. That was when I had stopped and really examined the new me mixed with the old me. I realized the only foolishness would be to undo all my hard-won day's work.

I may have been hurting; I may have had a silly reaction at the end of it all, finding it frivolous, but when I looked in the mirror I saw why I had bothered. I didn't as look beaten down as I actually was in that moment. The pain still haunted my eyes, if you looked closely enough to see that part of me, but it was better than it had been before.

On the outside, though, I looked normal, an almost 20 year old woman, who was fairly pretty. I looked normal and that thought stopped my terrified reaction at the new and slightly changed me.

I didn't look like the girl that had been through nothing but pain and absolute misery for the last few years. I was just a normal girl when I looked into that mirror. I straightened myself up, took myself into the kitchen, and ate a full lunch. A first for me in a long while.

I ate, however, and then pulled out the phone book deciding it was time for a new wardrobe to go with my new-improved me. I hired a personal shopper for the next morning, gave the lady my address and sat down on the sofa with the express intention of figuring out other ways to improve myself that would fit along with my soon to be jam-packed schedule.

In the end, it took a fall on my ass on the way to bed and some Internet research on ways to improve my balance to settle to settle on Tai Chi. Three hours a week in class plus two hours at home weekly.

The information I found stated that even balance in the elderly could be improved through the techniques. I figured if grams could do it so could I. Later I also signed up for a jogging class that ran three days a week for beginners, and was instructed on a track not far from my apartment building.

There were a lot of muggings about eight months into my time in Texas. This caused me to sign up for another class, one on self-defense and was well on my way to learning Aikido, both with weapons and without. I had resolved to never be the victim, and I would soon be able to fully protect myself.

Anyhow, I am getting ahead of myself. The very next morning after my salon day I got up at 6 A.M., had coffee, a shower, and went through the routine of getting myself ready the way I had been taught the day before.

I was very thankful that I had purchased all the items required to be able to do both my hair and makeup, and I was gratified when I again looked into the mirror and felt like a normal girl.

I dressed quickly in a pair of faded jeans, a sleeveless white button up shirt, and a comfortable pair of tennis shoes. I was completely ready for the day by 8 A.M. and went about having a decent breakfast before what I was sure would be a long day of shopping.

My shopping instructor, that's what I called her, arrived promptly at 9 A.M. To my surprise, she sat down with me in the living room. Then to my utter astonishment, she pulled out a work tablet which, went through a checklist of questions to determine my personality. That way she could help me dress according to my own personal tastes, with only a little help here and there.

We then proceeded to my closet, so she was able to see what she had to work with. I was happily surprised when she put me at ease with saying she understood why I had so little, just having moved here, and that most of my existing clothes could be easily worked into my wardrobe.

I ended up leaving my house feeling comfortable with her.

After spending the day with her, shopping and finding out what I liked, what I had no use for, and what was absolutely essential, like my sunglasses, one large tote bag, and a medium sized purse that I adored, I knew I would use many of these items for a very long time to come. I had not only filled my entire wardrobe with things I liked and would wear, even a few dressy pieces and a few pair of heels, I had not only found that I liked shopping to an extent, I had also made my first tentative friend here.

Caroline Richards was her name then, it has since changed to Marks, but either way we are still close today. We had made plans for her to spend her next day off, showing me around the great city of Houston, which was fantastic for me as I only had a little over a week until I started college.

Caroline had asked if she could bring a friend along on our tour day, which I had agreed, albeit a bit nervously, but she had reminded me that the three of us would be attending school together, and it would be better to have more than one person to help me adjust.

So three days later, myself, Caroline and one Devon Marks, who became my second friend and Caroline's husband six months ago, showed me around Houston and the college campus. Caroline took me to places she knew I would love: a quaint coffee shop, a fantastic book store, one of the most brilliant market places I had ever seen, and a few off beat clothing stores that fit my style perfectly.

By the end of the day, I knew some of the best places to eat, shop and just go to relax or find a good book, and I had great company to top it off.

All in all, I was really starting to feel a whole lot better about not only myself, but my choice to move to Texas as well.

Early the next week, I went to campus, grabbed a coffee, went through orientation, and bought all my books needed for my classes. I then took off to an office supply store and bought probably twice the amount of school supplies I could ever need, including a brand new laptop and printer, and was ready to begin college.

I was majoring in English, but I mainly wanted to be a writer. I felt I had a good enough grasp on the struggles of life to be able to write stories that could be both realistic and compelling, but I wanted to have a college degree under my belt just in case the publishing world didn't agree. I would be more than content as an English teacher, and that is how I chose my major.

I spent the rest of the week organizing my closet into outfits that went well together. It was something I would never have done before, but I was really trying to appear happy and adjusted, at least, on the outside while I dealt with the pain as best I could on the inside.

I also went to my first exercise and balance classes, as I was determined to get a handle on that issue quickly. I was sick to death of my relationship with the floor.

I spent sometime in the book store I had been shown, did a few last minute home decor things I had noticed and went to antique shop that looked interesting. I found a few treasures that I deemed I could not live without, and I was right as I still have and use them to this day. One was a old pendulum clock; there was a chessboard that had intricately made marble pieces; and the final item was an old coffee grinder that I loved.

I had made plans with Caroline and Devon earlier in the week, for Saturday, to make them a home-cooked meal and even allowed them to bring a couple friends, one of which would occupy my thoughts for years to come, though I refused to acknowledge it at the time.

That night I made lasagna dinner with salad and fresh bread from a nearby bakery. I fixed a cheesecake for dessert, and we all sat around eating and laughing at bad jokes. They told me the details of their past and present situations.

Caroline was 23 and a fashion marketing major in her third year at the university. Devon was 24, in his final year of an Engineering major and had landed a job post-graduation with a big company in the area.

Caroline's acquaintance, Amanda, was 20 and a second year physics major. I never managed to befriend her, and Caroline gave up shortly after I did.

The last friend they had brought had graduated a year ago, was 24, and an architect. He was currently working for a big firm in Houston but hoped to go freelance within the next couple years. He truly wanted to design and build things he loved, not just latest hot project.

Devon and Caroline both touted his brilliance, and he blushed profusely at the compliments. I admit even then I was highly attracted to him, though in no position to even consider reacting to that fact in any way.

He, however, showed his modesty and self-deprecating humor by first proclaiming my new friends to be highly over exaggerating, but then winking at me.

He told me a couple of his latest projects, which I later decided to check out on the Internet and found they were truly beautiful pieces of craftsmanship. He complimented me profusely on my home, which in turn brought out my famous blush and friendship literally bloomed over dinner.

After dinner we said our goodbyes fairly early, and he looked like he wanted to ask me something but then bit his tongue and thanked me for dinner leaving with his friends.

Honestly, I was thankful, as I knew I was nowhere near ready for anything more than friendship, and was more than grateful that the conversation about my past had never progressed past the "where are you from" stage. I had kept my answer succinct, and they seemed to conclude that I was not ready to talk about my previous life. I think they might have seen the pain in my eyes, because it was a while before they asked again.

The following Monday, I began classes at the university and worked on my plan to get my degree in as short a time as possible. I maintained a 3.9 G.P.A. or higher, and graduated in just three years.

I worked hard, kept up with my various exercise regimens, and the few other extras I had come to care about. I went out sometimes with my friends, and learned to enjoy my time here on this earth. It was a struggle, but I persevered. All that matters is that I made it to the other side with some help from a few people that mean a great deal to me now.

I began writing my first novel in my second year of college. It took me the whole year to finish it, as I was incredibly busy with school, friends, and demanding of myself that I have some type of life.

I was published three months into my third year of my major, have since published a second novel. and I am currently working on my third. So it seems that I have been able to follow my dreams of becoming a writer.

As far as moving on romantically, well that brings me to the "last but definitely not least" portion of this trip down memory lane...

Knock, Knock,Knock...

I was jerked out of my mostly pleasant thoughts by a soft rapping noise. I looked at my clock in a sideways glance; almost 11:15 P.M. Who in the world? Must be next door.

I ignored it, taking a sip of my wine. I turned off the TV, and took my glass to the kitchen.

Then I heard it again. That was definitely knocking, and on my door. The only person who should be coming here this time of night would not be knocking.

I set my glass on the counter, refilling it quickly. I left it there and then went to the door, not bothering to check the peep hole. I was sure it must be a case of a missing key, but my guts were doing flip-flops, and I didn't know why.

I wrenched open the door, and staggered back three steps into the entry table, gasping for air.

This was impossible. No, not now. NO?! My life is perfect!

The world spun slightly, as I stood there in shock. I stared at my three visitors, feeling my face pale and a cold clammy sweat break out across my skin...

**Michelle Branch Goodbye to You**

Of all the things I've believed in  
I just want to get it over with  
Tears form behind my eyes  
But I do not cry  
Counting the days that pass me by

I've been searching deep down in my soul  
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old  
It feels like I'm starting all over again  
The last three years were just pretend  
And I said,

Goodbye to you  
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew  
You were the one I loved  
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

I still get lost in your eyes  
And it seems that I can't live a day without you  
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away  
To a place where I am blinded by the light  
But it's not right

Goodbye to you  
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew  
You were the one I loved  
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time  
I want what's yours and I want what's mine  
I want you  
But I'm not giving in this time

Goodbye to you  
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew  
You were the one I loved  
The one thing that I tried to hold on to  
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

_A/N I realize that there are a few more words to the song but I felt it was important to truly get the point across. Bella had to let go of the past, or it would have driven her insane. This song fits it well. Please Review!_


	3. Chapter 3 Hello Vampires

_**Moving On in Reverse**_

_**Chapter 2**_

_**Hello Vampires**_

_A/N I own nothing_

_**Song for chapter:**_

_**Inside the Fire by Disturbed**_

_**Thanks to 4MeJasper for being brilliant. It amazing how having a truly fantastic Beta can keep a person motivated. Any mistakes are mine.**_

_Bella POV_

I was dumbfounded. Unable to stop staring out the doorway to my apartment. There in the doorway stood three inhumanly beautiful creatures. Three creatures that up until three seconds ago I was sure I would never see again. To be perfectly honest, for the last couple years I had been completely content with this fact.

Why now? Their arrival made no sense to me. I sighed heavily at the three of them...

I knew it was too good to last, but I had hoped. I couldn't help shaking my head sadly at them, before taking a steadying breath. It appeared they were preparing to speak. Damn it, I needed more time, so I shook my head quickly in the negative.

Taking further action to keep them quiet, I turned on my heel and beckoned them to follow me. I assumed, they being immortal, that they would have enough sense to shut the door. Luckily for them, they did.

I kept my back straight, as I continued down the hallway and into my kitchen to retrieve my wine glass. Once it was in hand, I chugged it greedily in one gulp.

Moving on to something a bit more appropriate; I reached into the cupboard for a bottle of scotch, and a new glass. I don't really know why I needed the glass; all I really wanted at this moment was to down the bottle. Despite that desire, I filled my glass and carried the bottle with me to the living room.

I motioned for them to sit across from me on the sofa and held up my hand. I hoped they would understand I wasn't ready to speak yet. I flopped myself down in my own seat, causing my drink to splash slightly on the floor. Fuck all, I would have to clean that later...

They kept quiet while I downed the first glass of scotch, hissing slightly at the burn as it went down. I refilled my glass, and then set it and the bottle on the table in front of me.

I worriedly glanced at the clock, knowing he would be home soon from his poker night with the guys. How in the hell was I going to explain the GQ models on the sofa across from me?

Wearily, I ran a hand down my face and decided I should get this started off on my terms. I really did not want to hear about whatever it was that had caused them to show up at my front door, though when it came to these or any vampires; I really doubted I had a choice.

Perusing each one carefully in turn, I finally opened my mouth..

"Carlisle, Emmett, Rosalie, forgive my rudeness, but what the Fuck are you doing here? Fuck how, why? Fucking Hell, I know you don't sleep, but could any of you have checked a clock?" I berated them.

I wasn't playing games. Finally, I was happy, and I'd be damned if they were going to fuck that up for me. Not now, and not after everything I'd been though to get to this point

Vampires in shock, lovely. They sat there stunned, mouths slightly open. It took me a full minute to realize that not one of them had ever heard me curse, let alone seen me drink. Not to mention the not-so-welcome, welcome.

I had caused three vampires to go utterly speechless. Fuck Yeah, score one Bella!

We must have sat there for two or three minutes before they finally seemed to be coming round. Rosalie smirked, Emmett all-out grinned, and Carlisle cleared his throat uncomfortably. I took in their faces once again, and I couldn't help it, I doubled over with laughter. This might bite me in the ass later, but that shit was funny.

Once I had calmed myself, I took another sip of my scotch. I looked once again over the three of them and spoke seriously,

"No seriously, why are you here, and why this late at night?" Carlisle stood suddenly and moved to look out the large window near the fireplace. He ran a hand over his face roughly and sighed.

"Bella, the easy answer is that we are here this late because this is when we finally located you," Carlisle admitted grimly.

"Okay," I dragged the word out. "That still doesn't explain why you are here, or anything really." Carlisle glanced at me quickly before once more staring out the window. I couldn't help but notice that he seemed a great deal more closed off than he had ever been when I had known him before.

Rosalie cleared her throat.

"We've been looking for you, Bella. We've been trying to find you for nearly five months. We found you this morning and came straight here." Well at least someone was telling me something even if it didn't make sense.

"Why have you been looking for me? It's been six fucking years. What could you possibly need to find me for?" I snapped, as I was starting to get irritated.

My last questions seemed to have frozen the vampires in the room with varying looks on their non-aging beautiful faces. Emmett wore a look that was concerned but full of a type of child-like hope. Carlisle looked appalled, and Rosalie wore an expression that was equal parts horrified and resigned.

A sense of foreboding crept over me slowly but surely. I knew in that moment that whatever they had come for would not be good for my future.

I was beginning to think that the past had truly caught up with me, and after all this time too. I just didn't know how this was going to play out, and I was becoming more and more certain with each moment they stayed silent that whatever had brought them here was really bad.

Carlisle sighed before flashing in front of me and kneeling down. He reached to take hold of my hands but I pulled them back. Whatever was coming I didn't need him to hold my hand.

"Bella..." My name was nothing more than a despondent whisper. I pulled in a deep breath only to jump when Carlisle was suddenly gone. It took me a few seconds to register him back by the window, and a few more to understand why he had moved.

I heard the door open, shut, and the lock engage. A bag hit the entry hall floor and keys clanged against the glass bowl that sat on the table just inside the door.

I didn't have to hear it to know that a coat and cowboy hat was being hung on the coat hook. Finally there was a quiet scuff, followed by two distinct thumps as a pair of cowboy boots hit the floor under the table.

"Darlin', you still awake?" Was called out semi-quietly as he moved into the kitchen. The refrigerator opened and closed.

"Yeah, baby, in here..." I answered as I looked at the three vampires taking over my living room. They all looked a bit shocked.

"What?" I whispered in a hiss, offended. They were saved from answering when my fiance came into the room.

"Whoa, I didn't realize we had company?" He looked at me quizzically.

"Uh, yeah." I floundered for something to tell him about the three art statues in our living room. Rosalie stepped in to help me I think.

"We're old friends of Bella's here. We just returned to the states after traveling across Europe for the last few years, and we thought we would stop to let her know that we made it back and were in town." Rosalie smiled brightly at me, then him.

He looked confused for a minute then seemed to catch on, grinning happily.

"So you're back in town for the wedding then?" he questioned. I admit the three of them did a good job of hiding their shock. I doubted my fiance caught it anyway. When no one answered him, however, he frowned looking between the four of us.

"Bella, darlin', why don't you introduce me to your friends?" I felt bad that he'd had to ask, but joining my past with my present and future wasn't something I wanted to do. This was all very awkward.

Emmett and Rosalie stood, while Carlisle joined us from his position at the window. I blinked and cleared my throat nervously. Shit, I didn't know what their cover-story was.

Thankfully Carlisle seemed to catch on and quickly took over for me. He spoke in what seemed to be a soothing voice. Who the hell was he trying to soothe.

"I am Carlisle Cullen. This is my sister Rosalie and her husband Emmett McCarty. It's a pleasure to meet you...?" Carlisle trailed off questioningly. Of course, my man was quick to fill him in.

"Jack Whitlock, nice to finally meet some friends of Bella's." Jack smiled at me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. All three of the Cullen's appeared to be at once, both curious and suspicious when they heard his name.

"Whitlock? Is that a family name?" Rosalie queried, giving me a strange glance. I wasn't sure what she wanted to know.

"Uh, yeah," Jack laughed. "There has been a Whitlock in Texas since before the Civil War." Carlisle nodded as if lost in thought. These damn vampires were infinitely more weird than I remembered. Regardless it was time for them to leave.

I would not be discussing anything of importance with this group with Jack here. I looked up at my fiance and plastered what I hoped would come across as a happy smile on my face.

"Baby, they were just leaving. Rosalie wanted to see me even though they got in late, but we already made plans to get together tomorrow at 10 A.M. before my last fitting for my dress." I ducked my head and glared at the three of them.

When I did it had looked for just a second as if Carlisle was staring at me with pain-filled eyes. Perhaps Edward's latest toy hadn't been all that fun. Hell, for that matter, where was Esme? I had rarely ever seen Carlisle without Esme. Well, unless I was injured.

"I'm going to walk them out." I had already stepped away from Jack and was heading toward the door. Jack called out behind me a goodbye to the three of them. I guess they had followed me.

Once they were out the door, I only paused for a second before trying with all my might, and barely succeeding, not to slam the door in their faces.

"I talk to you tomorrow. I already gave you the time." I could feel my teeth grinding together as I clicked the lock on the door and set the chain. Mustering up what strength I had left I steeled myself and headed back toward the kitchen where I could hear Jack moving around.

"Hey baby, I'm wiped... I think I'm going to head to bed. How about you?" My voice was quiet and tired.

"Hmm...," he mused "You gonna tell me what that was all about, darlin'?" He asked not looking at me, as he continued what he was doing.

"What do you mean?" My voice shook. I swear I heard him say "That's what I thought." Before he held up the scotch bottle as if that explained everything. It did, really. I only drank hard liquor when I was stressed or upset or some combination of both. I sighed.

"It's nothing." Even if I wanted to explain right now I couldn't. What would I tell him?

"Alright." Jack's voice sounded tight. "I'll be to bed shortly." I nodded not thinking of anything but how I felt guilty, and I hadn't even done anything.

I walked down the hall to the bedroom, stripped my pants off and climbed into bed. I must have laid there for almost an hour, my thoughts completely empty, until I felt Jack crawl in behind me and wrap his arms around me. He pressed his face into my hair and kissed the top of my head.

His words were a whisper that had me snuggling closer to him and drifting.

"I love you, Bella."

"Love you too." was my sleep-garbled response.

**A/N: Please Review! I wasn't going to post this chapter until Friday, but I might be in the hospital for about a week. So I thought I would go ahead and put it up now just in case...**


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